I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
NoShamevember. You game?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
