I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
