omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
