hotel room ftw
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
