did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
