why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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