Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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