She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
