I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
