Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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