We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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