I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
