you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
