Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
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My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
false alarm, still single
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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