i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize