God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Bring me that man meat
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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