It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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