I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
