I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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