I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we're making bets on your personal life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
