i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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