Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
