Your face is a jimmy john
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize