yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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