It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
