Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
