im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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