this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
