is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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