I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
