I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
