do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
