hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
