You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
