do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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