At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
