Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
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you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
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You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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