It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
