My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
