Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
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I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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