It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
