My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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