So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
