Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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