Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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