I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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