Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
