why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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