i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
