is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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