is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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