It's Friday. Sex?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
