my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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