Where are you?
In a non slutty way
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
