I'm so fucking centered right now
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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