I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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