New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize