The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
