Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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