Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
