I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
