I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize